It categorically refused to give him anything beyond the 10 days which men receive or to let us share the paid leave I received from the European Commission. It even refuses to recognise him as the father of his non-biological child, even if a US court has declared both of us as legal parents. That is why we sought the help of the European Ombudswoman who accepted to inquire the institutions about their policies with regards to LGBTQ parents. The three institutions have answered her very differently; from a commitment to grant same parental leave rights to all future same-sex couples the European Council to full rejection the European Parliament with some still in the process the European Commission answered it was working on changing the rules and indeed changed the rules about six months later.
The EU Ombudswoman justified our battle and helped us put this issue on the agenda. For this we are forever grateful. We knew it would be too late for us but we hoped our case would at least pave the way for future same-sex families.
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Unfortunately, the Court rejected our lawsuit on procedural grounds, without even looking at the substance. And even if he had, following this lengthy, complicated, and awkward process would have at best allowed us to have our post-birth leave retroactively recognised by time the kids were getting married….
I really wonder how the people who articulated this position sleep at night. Back to the other side of the pond, we happened to have been matched with a surrogate mother from the rural part of the state of Georgia.
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We fell in love with Kristina immediately, with her charm, wit, intellect, curiosity, and most importantly, infinite altruism. Kristina has three charming children of her own and runs a daycare.
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The money was not even a motivating factor and in any case under US regulation all surrogates are checked for psychological fitness and financial stability prior to being granted surrogate status so they cannot be desperate for money. Over the months of knowing her as the surrogate of our sons, we grew to admire her personality so much so that we humbly asked her if she would be a godmother to our sons. She said yes. Kristina is unique, no doubt. But through her we got to know her environment, her family, her friends, the staff at the hospital where she gave birth, and even the journalists at a local Georgia newspaper who covered our extraordinary story.
How were the other reactions? Granted, there were also several negative comments, but for each bad one there were dozens filled with love and empathy, coming from the same Bible Belt we thought might be homophobic. Where do we go from here? Are we planning to now migrate to America? Although the USA was our own private Land of Opportunities where we could fulfil our dream to become parents; although over there no authority can question our marriage nor legal parenthood, we know where we feel home and we are still planning to raise our boys as Europeans.
But, this experience has taught us to see beyond the black and white definitions of American conservatism as they appear from Europe; as well as beyond the colourful rainbow flags which are proudly woven over public authorities across Europe. These are often the same institutions which refuse to allow us to have our family recognised, or to give us the rights to care for our children like other parents.
We discovered an entire range of grayscale when it comes to gay-friendliness. This magical journey has awoken us from our illusion that Europe was a gay-rights paradise to the unpleasant realisation that our rights are far from being delivered to us on a silver platter. That is why continue appealing, petitioning, and publishing articles such as this.
Fifty years after Stonewall, it is still up to us to fight for a better Europe for our boys, whether straight or gay, to grow up in. Long way to go for gay rights in Europe. Share article:.
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Get 1 year free! New Zealand is currently considered the second best country in the world for expats , according to HSBC, and same-sex marriage and adoption by same-sex parents were both legalized in The island nation, located in the southwest Pacific Ocean, is also known for its beautiful cities and landscape.
Long way to go for gay rights in Europe
The Netherlands is considered the most gay-friendly country in the world , according to Gallup, and it was also the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage in Amsterdam, its capital, is a popular destination for LGBTQ tourists and was ranked among the best cities in the world for expats. Norway legalized same-sex marriage in , became the first country to enact anti-discrimination protections based on sexual orientation in and is ranked 6 on HSBC's best countries for expats.
LGBTQ culture is also very visible in the Scandinavian country -- Pride in Oslo is one of Norway's largest events, and the city is also home to one of the world's best gay choirs. In , South Africa became the first country in Africa to legalize same-sex marriage -- and there has yet to be a second. Gay South Africa competitions.